I'm always in this twilight

Worst feeling in the entire world = feeling uninspired. I had so much I wanted to write about today, but as I sit on the couch thinking about anything and everything that makes me miserable, it's hard to put the better part of my mind in words. All I can think about is how lonely I feel right now, how much I'm dying to have things be okay.
Today when I took the little girls that i nanny to the pool, I had a very interesting encounter with a girl that I was very tight with in my early years of highschool. How amazing it felt to see a girl living in this town who was just as dark and depressing as I am is unbelievable. The amount of excitement I felt knowing she was going through something just as similar as I am is probably quite unhealthy. But as I was sitting in the sun today for hours and hours, I felt the repercussions of growing up. Listening to my long lost friends turmoils, and reciprocating with my own, then watching the kids running and laughing and being joyful and happy and knowing that their biggest care in the world was whether or not they were going to be allowed to have desert that night. UGH it killed me. How did it happen that I grew up getting less decent? It makes me mad, yes, but I suppose it makes me who I am.
Anyway, seeing this beautiful soul today made me realize something. Those of us who tend to lean towards the negative and feel as though we have no outlet, we HAVE to help them find an outlet. Thank God I found mine in writing. Best therapy there is. I believe that writing or art, or ANY outlet in the world (thats healthy) will save you from the despairing pessimism that eats so many of our minds.
Let's start a movement. To anyone who is living in the twilight, entering the darkness, write. Let it out. Escape the surface and go deeper, into your mind, into your blank pages. Encourage writing for everyone. Please.

Sunday Girl - Self-Control (Fenech-Soler Remix) / Kavinsky - Nightcall (Studio Brussels Remix

Okay I always become obsessed with Sunday Girl remixes. First the Diplo remix to Four Floors, now this Fenech-Soler Remix. So killer. It's the kind that makes you feel super sexy as you listen to it, nobody can tell you anything different than what you believe, makes you feel like you can do anything, you run your world... Love those.
"I, I live amoung the creatures of the night..."





Dirty mix, dirty beat. BAD BAD BOY.

BANGARANG.

Check out all these mean mugs. I had the hugest crush on Rufio when I was like...10. But what I never understood was why there were never any lost girls. Or better yet, where were all the lost girls? hmmmm.

It's official. I have to move to London.

(VIA WE ARE OBSCENE)

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - No More Shall We Part

I'm in such a morbidly depressing mood lately. This just sums up everything I feel in one song. You're alone in this world, everyone. You are all alone. Cheers.

The Subterraneans

"They are hip without being slick, they are intelligent without being corny, they are intellectual as hell and know all about the Pound without being pretentious or talking too much about it, they are very quiet, they are very Christlike." -quoted by a friend of Jack K.


"I want to dig them as a group.." - Jack K.




Today as I was traveling home on my city adventure, (I would normally be in the city tonite, but do to a lack of soul for comfort, I had to come home) I abruptly woke up from the half sleeping day dream I was having about a particular drummer, at the White Plains station. I got SO confused, because for some reason, I thought I was at marta. It looked the same as the station I used to leave from in Atlanta, and I even had two bags with me. It was quite a bizarre feeling, that feeling of excitement and independence I used to feel when I would go in there. I would become way too excited looking towards the weekends, not knowing what the hell we'd be getting into for those three days I spent there. I loved the people I was surrounded by. I loved that they loved me, I loved that they HEARD me. They were interested in things I had to say. I didnt find that at school, and I certainly can't find that in this town, but then I looked down at my book, looked at the title, and remembered that it was just a group of subterraneans.
We shared music, art, ideas. We shared stories, drinks, and ciggarettes. On the outside, before you got too deep, it was a beautiful place, an escape for me, if you will. I could explain it in a second. A picture for the imagination. Walking, yelling down the hallway late at night, drunks falling on you while the flash of a camera was in your face. Laughing so hard you couldnt breathe until the door opened, then your glass was immediately filled, your choice of any ciggarette, your music being played. A quick trip of 8 people piling into a car to go to a random warehouse, where you could rave all night, or an art walk with the greatest group of people. But just a taste, then back to that room, that kitchen, that place, and again, your best friends dancing, and nothing feeling better than knowing that they enjoy the drop of the beat just as much as you do. You'd never thought you'd find someone who just felt that dancing was the greatest remedy. (cue little boots). open the back door to the balcony and find one deep, soulfelt conversation after the next, and then all over again.
It was all a dream, until I woke up. Clearly moments like that do not last forever, and as soon as you let yourself become too close, and get too deep with someone, it'll fall through. It's guaranteed.
And it's okay. I miss it at times, feeling accepted, understood, having people WANT to hear what I had to say. But i believe that an end comes for a reason, and every pessimistic thought I could put into my head has a reason as well. I dont need to be upset that its over, and sad that I'm not happy where I am in life. Good things will come again. I say every up has a down, I hear people say every down has an up. I will smile because it happened, and remember that I could only stay sane in that place for the period of time the universe allowed me. I'm slowly but surely finding that escape again. New city, new friends. New love, new books, new ideas, new inspiration.

That will be my word for the rest of the month. New. I need to start new.

and shes psychic

This is my friend Brooke. She's beautiful, inside and outside. She's probably the raddest highschool girl I've ever known. She's talented and a REAL person. Probably one of the only female I can tolerate in this town. She's also available on eharmony. Just kidding. Love you B, and if you change and conform in college I'll disown you. STAY YOU. You rock.

Why? - These Few Presidents

WHY? will do amazing things for my mind. I fall back into them every time I need to be re-inspired. So I thought I'd post one of my faves by them.
Even though I haven't seen you in years, yours is a funeral I'd fly to from anywhere.


Why? - These few presidents

from soul to paper

What beautiful eyes you have, dear friend
and lips, skin, hair, hands,
what an amazing voice you have, dear friend
and talent, charm, knowledge, taste
how honest you seem to me, dear friend
and loyal, real, deep, true
how good you feel to me, dear friend
and look, sound, taste, are
how perfect I felt by you, dear friend
and open, unique, pretty, true
I loved you so, my dear, dear friend
and loved, loved, loved, loved
so,
why did you lie to me, dear friend
and cheat, steal, blame, hide
why did you take my heart, dear friend
and cheat, steal, blame, hide
please give it back to me, dear friend
stay silent, leave, vanish, die.

Paris is better.

I'm obsessed with this pic. I'm...not really sure why, probably cause I wish I had friends like this in NY.
I feel as though I would just get along better in Europe. ...Grass is always greener....
I WANT THIS CROSS RING! It's the Robert Lee Morris Warhol Collection ring and it's out of stock EVERYWHERE!!! ughhh.

(all these pics via Yvan Rodic)

TUNAGE

These two songs have been on repeat for the past four days. I'm obsessed. I've always been a fan of Stars, especially after i heard the Final Fantasy remix to 'You're Ex-Lover is Dead', but this new band to my itunes, Colour Revolt, is making quite the good impression. This particular song, 'Our Names', is such a feel good, dance with your eyes closed in a mess of rain with people you love kinda song. It's one of those songs that just makes me smile and want to run through anything that's bothering me.
The next song, 'We don't want your Body', by Stars, has perfect lyrics...
"White line dead time the chloroform
Flashbulbs which pop to keep you warm
I've watched you slowly fall away
The colours fade, from blue to grey....
"Lie down and try to talk to me
Sleep now and dream of who you'll be
When you finally become someone." Just listen to the lyrics. Says alot.
Enjoy kids.

Colour Revolt - Our Names


Stars - We Don't Want Your Body

Thoughts of the Day

1. Saying you're going to do something means absolutely nothing unless you do it. Actions speak so much louder than words.

2. I was laying down in my backyard last nite, looking up at the stars, and I've never seen a Connecticut night sky look so pretty. I had never really done that before, but my brother insisted I come look at the stars with him because it was such a clear night. It's so weird to think that the whole world can see the same thing i can. Somebody in Europe or elsewhere could be looking at the same star I was seeing at that time. Anyway, the world is beautiful. Don't sweat the small stuff.

UNBELIEVABLE.

I have to post this. This just confirms my hatred for police officers. You are all power hungry pieces of crap that were uncool in highschool and now are taking it out on humble people. I hate you, government, and I think you need to keep your cops, who are supposed to be 'keeping the peace', in check. This poor girl got PUNCHED IN THE FACE by a cop. He PUNCHED A GIRL. Sickening.

I can't even begin to explain how good it was to see my favorite little fiver. We spent a beautiful day on the West Side walking along the water and sippin on some hoegaarden with Laurali and Colleens wonderful friend John. Miss you already, col.

(via lafrijola)

YOU may kidnap me and take me anywhere you'd like.



(via yvanrodic.blogspot.com)

PS. I told you that I would let you know how seeing Chief was when I saw them on Saturday, and they put on quite a solid summer show. Really splendid, beautiful boys, on AND off the stage.

"The thing about truly raw dance music is how powerful it can make you feel—how alive, and how angry. It commands your body, daring you to punch your shoulder out of your socket and bang against your sweaty brethren with abandon in warehouses and alleyways you’d never deign to enter in the light."

(via rcrdlbl.com--in regards to the song 'Corporate Occult' by Huoratron)

Deluka - Cascade (The Rapture Remix)

Hello good looking band from Birmingham, UK. If you are looking for just a feel good, dancing by yourself in the midst of a million people kinda song, here it is. Ellie, the lead singer has really unique vocals that absolutely pull you right into the song, and the electric feel of the song takes your breath away. Anyway, this is the rapture remix to their song Cascade, and it's brilliant. enjoy you tykes.



Also, check out their song "Sleep is Impossible" on the bands myspace, pretttty solid tune. www.myspace.com/deluka.

where my boys at



(via yvan rodic, http://yvanrodic.blogspot.com/)

okay bird from crystal castles, you're gorgeous.

(via rcrdlbl.com)

Random Plath Excerpts I Adore...

I'm currently reading the collected works of Sylvia Plath, and I thought I'd just blog some excerpts that I fell in love with.

taken from Tale of a Tub

"In this particular tub, two knees jut up
like icebergs, while minute brown hairs rise
on arms and legs in a fringe of kelp; green soap
navigates the tidal slosh of seas
breaking on legendary beaches; in faith
we shall board our imagined ship and wildly sail
among sacred islands of the mad till death
shatters the fabulous stars and makes us real."

taken from Dream with Clam-Diggers

"Grim as gargoyles from years spent squatting at sea's border
In wait amid snarled weed and wrack of wave
To trap this wayward girl at her first move of love,
Now with stake and pitchfork they advance, flint eyes fixed on murder."

///RAD NEW TUNAGE///

Enjoy, you little pumpkin heads, enjoy some new tunez courtesy of...me. Cheers.

This is the song of the season for me. No lyrics can describe how I feel better than these RIGHT here. Get em again, Robyn.
"I'm so bored in this town
Take me away from here
Play me some kind of new sound
Something true insincere
I've got a little girl singing and repeating my head (oh-ho)
Take me far away from here"

Robyn feat. Royskopp - None of Dem


And these are just fantastic to dance to.

Metermaids & DJ Rob Swift - Girls and Music (Animal Collective Remix)


Florrie - Come Back to Mine (feat. Moguai)


Sleigh Bells - Run the Heart

Mental Debauchery

DISCLAIMER: Don't read this if you don't want to find out what your boyfriend/fiance/husband is up to.

I wasn't going to post about this, but...I just feel as though I must write to you/warn you all about the disgusting/vile/putrid/repulsing male mind. I was helping out a family friend by working at a deli in town for the past month, in RIDGEFIELD, and have never had such an experience in my life. For those of you who don't know much about Ridgefield, it's that rich little town you see in movies where it's "great to raise the kids", and then the kids turn out to be the most spoiled, selfish people, the moms have like..baby walking time in the morning, the mailman is friends with your dog...you know, that kind of town. Anyway, never in my life, have I ever witnessed such mental debauchery. All I did was work the register, and I believe I got asked out 49 times, BY MARRIED MEN. They had NO idea who I was, because I was living in Atlanta for so long, so they thought that I had no idea who they were or who their wives and kids were. Ohh little did they know...I knew. One person in partic, WHO WAS MARRIED, to the hottest chick ever, got my number, told me he could get me "party favors", told me that I had a hot ass, and that if I ever needed "anything" to come to him. Now, I know these texts sound like I played along...I DIDNT. I either wouldn't text back, or I would write back like..."I'm going to tell your wife". It didn't stop them. I had an engaged man tell me that he thought about me before he went to sleep, a mailman bring me a rose and chocolates on my birthday, and an elder British man with two kids ask me to sushi. I had one man make inappropriate gestures to me behind the counter, one man tell me his life story, how i reminded him of his ex-wife, and one man call me Barbie-Doll. Go F yourselves, guys, learn some damn respect.
Ladies, keep your husband in check, orrr stop being an idiot, orrrr have some self-respect if you are doing this too.
Not only did this remind me to hate humanity, but it reminded me that I infact, will never get married, procreate, or anything along those lines.
CHEERS everyone!

Miike Snow - The Rabbit

Absolutely fantastic video for Miike Snow's new single, The Rabbit. Smart concept, dirty dancing, and very symmetrical pleasing to the eye shots. I loveee this song to begin with, great beat, and the lyrics are phenom.
(i tried to beat the devil too many times
i'm in love, she is tragic magic
i wanna listen to my evil eye and i pull her down but she won't have it
i wanna know, i wanna know, i wanna know, which way to go before it tramples on me
but the rabbit jumps back in his hole
and forget that i am just like everybody else)
I cannot wait for the massive amounts of remixes that will come out of this. yayyy.
Cheers to you, tragic magic.

CHIEF the band

Welcome newish band, Chief. Hailing from across the country they all met at NYU, and started a band. Composed of two brothers, Michael and Danny Fujikawa, and friends Evan Koga, and Mike Moonves, these boys can jam. And it definitely helps that the boys are some of the most beautiful things I have ever laid my eyes on. This is a video of them playing Atlantic City by Bruce Springsteen. Pretty rad. Stream their music or just check out their myspace at http://www.myspace.com/chieftheband. I will let you all know how they are in person after I see them on Saturday.

I hope this inspires you, dear. Cheers to all.

(via seriousstache.com)