Worst feeling in the entire world = feeling uninspired. I had so much I wanted to write about today, but as I sit on the couch thinking about anything and everything that makes me miserable, it's hard to put the better part of my mind in words. All I can think about is how lonely I feel right now, how much I'm dying to have things be okay.
Today when I took the little girls that i nanny to the pool, I had a very interesting encounter with a girl that I was very tight with in my early years of highschool. How amazing it felt to see a girl living in this town who was just as dark and depressing as I am is unbelievable. The amount of excitement I felt knowing she was going through something just as similar as I am is probably quite unhealthy. But as I was sitting in the sun today for hours and hours, I felt the repercussions of growing up. Listening to my long lost friends turmoils, and reciprocating with my own, then watching the kids running and laughing and being joyful and happy and knowing that their biggest care in the world was whether or not they were going to be allowed to have desert that night. UGH it killed me. How did it happen that I grew up getting less decent? It makes me mad, yes, but I suppose it makes me who I am.
Anyway, seeing this beautiful soul today made me realize something. Those of us who tend to lean towards the negative and feel as though we have no outlet, we HAVE to help them find an outlet. Thank God I found mine in writing. Best therapy there is. I believe that writing or art, or ANY outlet in the world (thats healthy) will save you from the despairing pessimism that eats so many of our minds.
Let's start a movement. To anyone who is living in the twilight, entering the darkness, write. Let it out. Escape the surface and go deeper, into your mind, into your blank pages. Encourage writing for everyone. Please.