Tuesday, July 27, 2010

and much to talk about.
but due to work which is where i currently am, and concerts that take up the night, and then work again and no laptop on hand, its hard.
I will also be taking a leave of absence from the north for a week.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Scala & Kolacny Brothers - Creep (Radiohead cover)

I would very much like to die to this song. Preferably some dramatic slow motion death with this playing in the background. This is one of the most beautifully haunting, dark and terrifying covers my ears have ever laid listening to. It's an all girls Belgium choir I believe, and they sound absolutely magnificent. I KNOW it's in the trailer for that facebook movie, not where I got it from.
I'm really a fan of anything Radiohead, covers, remixes and whatnot, but this may beat all.

The choir also does a very eerie version to Smells like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. Check it out on Youtube.

Where are the people who burn?

I did something stupid about a month ago. I say stupid because this is what people tell me it was, I don't think of it as that, I think of it as me succumbing to despair and my depression. I guess this act of...whatever you would like to call it...hurt some people. Obviously. I'm sorry to anyone I hurt, but I'm not really sorry for how I reacted. You can label me a mess, or a case, or whatever the hell you want, and at first I felt really guilty and bad, and sad, every other apologetic emotion, but then I got to thinking, and talking to people, and...if I lose my supposed 'best friends' over this, then I guess thats the case. I am so sorry that I scared you, that I made you look bad, that I caused you embarrassment.

I'm not really sorry. Sometimes you just have to realize that people grow apart. I was talking to a dear old friend today, and she was talking to me about this revelation she had about how in order to LIVE, and appreciate, and be alive, you have to suffer, you have to deal with suffering, and frankly, you have to be a little bit crazy. I'm a realist. Yeah sure I push things to the side that I don't want to think about, but when something scary and big comes at me, (which in my life its unreal how many times I've had to deal with that), I don't push it out of the way. I deal with it. This summer has been insane. I'll say it's been shitty. An awful, hurtful, mean, cruel, dangerous summer. I'm getting off track, but suffering. People have to suffer. And if you don't want to deal with something that's scary for you, or takes you out of an extreme comfort zone that you've been living with your whole life, I don't know if you are the person for me. You like staying safe. I don't. You do in every aspect of your life. You are always comfortable. Well life isn't comfortable, dear. It's scary, it's harsh, it's brutal, it's raw. I'm raw. Maybe I used to not be because I didn't know myself like I do now, but if what I've turned out to be isn't suiting for you, then carry on. I started to realize the conversations werent interesting, forced a little bit, and interests differed. I feel as though when I spoke you were just ... so unbelievably uninterested but you felt as though you had to listen, because you are such a good friend, when really it was going in one ear and out the other. My comments and conversations on philosophy and music and my passions started making me feel as though I was burdening you. I don't want to feel like a burden. I want to be around people who burn. People who are consumed by passion, feeling, emotion, error, and reality. This safe game has never been my forte, nor will it ever be.
I love you to death. But I guess I'm just not the person who fits into the ideal mold. I make mistakes, I hurt, but I deal with it. I don't hide my life. I'm vulnerable at times, and yeah I may be hurt over and over again but this is LIFE. That's what life IS. This is how creativity comes to the surface. This is how we learn. THIS is how we find out who we really are, and what we are here for. This is why we burn.

Stay safe kiddo, I'll be on the other side.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

We used to dance our faces off.

I went out dancing with my friend last night. It's just not the same dancing I'm used to with the same people I used to dance with. Places here, everyone cares about what they look like, or who they dance with. Noone dances to release. Such a shame.
We danced hard. We would dance all night.
One time my friends had to pick me up and carry me out of a rave because I wouldnt leave.
The last picture, was the best dance party we ever had. Imagine about 28 people in a tiny little apartment dancing crazy to Tik-Tok, (before Ke$ha got famous and ruined music), people on the speakers, couches, porch. Absolutely everyone there dancing in their own way, to one song. Beautiful. The boy in that picture was dancing on the speakers and hit a picture frame, broke it, then cut open his thumb. And I'm pretty sure he continued to dance.

these songs remind me of those times.

Major Lazer feat. Nina Sky - Keep it Goin' Louder

Thieves Like Us - Drugs in My Body

Kele - Tenderoni

Sorry this is kindaaaa old.
This is Kele. He's from Bloc Party. He's a huge bad ass. This is his new song and video, Tenderoni, off the album The Boxer. It's actually a kickass album, I listened to it at work, I fell in love. I love his style.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

(via yvan rodic)
(via 3blowminds)
(via 3blowminds)
check out my stellar girlfriend back in atlanta. miss you col (via thoughtsareforgotten)
(via yvan rodic)
"The sense of unhappiness is so much easier to convey than that of happiness. In misery we seem aware of our own existence, even thought it may be in the form of a monstrous egotism: this pain of mine is individual, this nerve that winces belongs to me and to no other. But happiness annihilates us: we lose our identity. The words of human love have been used by the saints to describe their vision of God, and so, I suppose, we might use the terms of prayer, meditation, contemplation to explain the intensity of the love we feel (for a woman). We too surrender memory, intellect, intelligence, and we too experience the deprivation, the noche oscura, and sometimes as a reward a kind of peace. The act of love itself has been described as the little death, and lovers sometimes experience too the little peace."

-Grahm Greene; The End of the Affair

Thought of the Day

Sometimes, I really wish selfish people would put aside their pride, stop focusing on themselves, and realize that they need to start being good friends to other people. The world is not about you, or anything you want to think it is. Maybe there are a lot of deeper seeded issues that you know nothing about.

Happy Birthday Lindsay Rose, were gunna have the best weekend ever.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Katy B - Katy on a Mission / DJ Fresh - Gold Dust

YES. Oh my gosh I am SO excited about these songs. I've been searching and searching for that perfect song that I can fall in love with for the week, I think it's been about two since I last obsessed over a song, and I wasn't finding them anywhere. Until now. Thank you apc, you saved my life once again.

This song is so rad, such a dirty beat, and the birds voice is the perfect girl voice for the song. I almost can't listen to it in certain places for fear of just getting so deep into it, that I look ridiculous. Oh please enjoy this song. I beg of you.

Katy B - Katy on a Mission

This little guy here, has a SICK beat. I recognize it from somewhere, and I can't really put my finger on it, or ear, rather. The video to this is actually really sick. A bunch of super urban kids doing those crazy good jump-roping competitions. Took me a while to get into the song, then after a couple plays I fell in love. Happy hump day.

DJ Fresh - Gold Dust

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Antithetical Points of Views

I apologize if this post may sound passe, or slightly obnoxious (work, don't fire me) but I have such a hard time understanding something.
This is the definition I've found of a liberal. 'Liberal: Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.'
Does that not mean that they are accepting and tolerant of ALL other behaviors and beliefs?
I am in NO WAY a republican, or hard core conservative. I'm registered independant, and would consider myslef a moderate. I vote based on factual information, policies that I can relate or agree with, and reason. I don't go along with views because they are trendy or 'in' for the time being. Anyway, back to the definition, if this is the case, then WHY do people who label themselves as liberal have such a hard time with Christianity? Conflicting views. A little bit confused I think people are sometimes, but they just want to make a point. I know that I've blogged about this in very early posts, but due to a circumstance today, I feel I must reblog.
For example, currently at work I'm clipping and doing all of this press for Conor Obersts' letter he sent to the governor or mayor or whatever of Arizona in response to the immigration law they just passed. Conor is rounding up artists and bands to basically boycott the law by not performing any concerts there. That's fine. Good for Conor and everyone for standing up in what they believe in. Seriously. Standing for something you believe if you know what you're talking about is a beautiful thing. But if they are so vehement on equality, then why can't people just be equal with people of other religions. This has nothing to do with Conor Oberst, I was just making a comparison between the views of a hipster new age liberal who's obviously against any for of organized religion that I had dealt with today.
Same idea. Equality. But, it's usually just Catholicism and Christianity that people have a problem with, I've come to notice in my years of living. I must say I would think working in an indie music / electro music industry would be a lot more laid back and chill, but it's really not. It's just as catty and political as anywhere else. Only in a perfect world, I suppose. I'm not about to get all political and preacher like on anyone, I just am trying to see what the point of putting down Christian views are. I've always had a hard time accepting the fact that people will shit on my views in a second, which means no matter how lost I may be in my faith, I still must have it somewhere deep inside of me.
Ugh, I don't know. At least I stand for something.

Stolen Roses

I came to a final conclusion today about why I get so angry and bitter at the world. A lot of people just think I'm really negative, which I totally am, and that I have this awful outlook on life, but today, I noticed...that it's because I don't cry.
Something upset me today pretty bad, but since I never want to cry or be sad or look like a dramatic waste in front of anyone, I just get angry, and I internalize everything. I let it sit inside of me for too long so then I just become mad. I'm mad. I'm mad at a lot of things, a lot of situations, and a lot of people. When I was walking from work to the bar, I had my ipod on, listening to Karen Elson, and Stolen Roses came on. I never really listened to the lyrics, but my oh my, she explains my thoughts perfectly.
I really love her music also. I would think it would be hard to be married to a man like Jack White, who's just so genius in everything he does, but...she holds her end pretty well, has really dark and creative lyrics, and actually has a beautiful voice.

Karen Elson - Stolen Roses

Monday, July 12, 2010

I wonder if it's possible to read too much. I haven't gone one day without picking up a book and right now, I just finished another Jack Kerouac book, and I have nothing left to read in this house. I know I have to pick up Brideshead Revisited, The End of the Affair, and I think I want to read American Psycho, as recommended by a pretty British girl I follow.
Anyway, I've always thought about writing a book. And today I received an email saying that the person who wrote this email thought that I should write one as well. So, I'm going to.
I'm going to write a book.

Chief's First Music Video!

ALRIGHT here we go. Chiefs very first music video! I was so excited when I was sent this by my boss at work, and then I watched it, and...I'm....well it's all still settling with me. I think I'm a little confused. The whole Shakespearean murderess thing and the ribbon dancer, I think that you could have stayed a little simpler. But who am I to say that other people didn't completely dig it? And hey, mad creativity points Matt Creed.
I super dig your music and your hair, and you all look smashingly handsome. This song is great, definitely one of my favorites on Modern Rituals. (I don't know if I'm allowed to say that). But...here's the vid. Enjoy everyone! yayyyy CHIEF!

Random Thought of the Day

Lately I've been trying to keep quite. I still don't have a cellphone, a facebook, I don't really hang out with anyone at home. 10% of this is because a certain woman told me I should be more prudent towards people ? (apparently I'm supposed to be completely introverted), so I bought into it for a minute, and for the past month or so I've stayed low key.
I'm done with it.
How the hell did I make all of my friends in Atlanta, NYC, and other random connections? By hiding myself in a closet? Nope. By going out of my way to talk to people anywhere. I have this thing with smokers too, I've found you can have some of the best conversations in smoking sections. So I'll occasionally ask someone I see for a cigarette and end up striking up a fantastic conversation. I think it's actually a good trait that I have. A lot of people arent capable of just going up to people and talking, and I am. And even if I may seem forward or whatever, I'm making friends. I'd be a lonely girl in that big ol' city if I stayed to myself. Now I'm not saying that I am annoying and just run up to someone random and ask them their name, but at a concert, or bar, I'll definitely let anyone talk to me, and talk back.
So to you stuck up closed off people, sorry I have skills in being personable. I'm making more connections then you are.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

"I don't like the idea of anti-depressants. People turn into zombies. If your emails go from these beautiful dark and brilliant stories to you talking about butterflies and fucking cupcakes I'm going to be pissed."

I miss you, twin.
How sick is this. Does it make me cooler because I know him?
This picture makes me want to do three things. 1: Move to Germany for a minute. 2: Start stretching so I can start doing cool jumping pics again.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Two Door Cinema Club - Come Back Home (Myd Remix) / Jeremy Messersmith - Organ Donor

Two Door Cinema Club - Come Back Home (Myd Remix)

OBSESSED. with. this. song. The original is tight too, as are all Two Door Cinema Club songs, but this remix is so perfect and gets you to feel it so much more. At first I was a little upset that they didnt drop a crazy beat after the chorus, but then as I kept listening to it, I realized I liked how it was, because the remix makes his voice (which is sooo hot) sound so strong and powerful. Therefore, it cuts right into your soul. Good job, Myd. ...whoever you are..

Jeremy Messersmith - Organ Donor

Creepy, eerie, a bit dark and completely my taste. I'm...not so sure about the lyrics. Everything except the second verse is really good. That one part throws me off a little. But I like his voice. ENjoyy.

Monday, July 5, 2010

A taste of New York

Lindsay in Madison Square Park.
My walk home from work.
French music festival.
My view from work.
Good morning New York City.
Good night New York City.
They were married. Cheers.
Jamesons 19 wishes.
My beautiful sister got married.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Modern Day Pen Pals

So my long lost best friend who I never got to say goodbye to and I have been emailing lately, mostly due to the fact that I currently have no cellphone, facebook, ...anything. I like emailing. It's like a pen pal...via computer...
Anyway, I like what we write about. I like how she can understand my crude, dark and honest words, and have the same type of writing. Ps-I basically copied her post. Por ejemplo..

Her:“I can’t put my life on hold for all the bullshit because it would never start up again. Selfish my ass. I’ve been rock bottom before and I’ve decided it’s an illusion. You can pull yourself out just as fast as you can throw yourself back in. But I also think happiness is an illusion and love is an illusion and I always like the ‘idea’ of guys because I won’t let my mind play games on me when I’m probably the one playing games on my mind. If you followed that, then you are definitely my friend."

Me:"Oh, i most definitely followed that. [excess nonsense that is not legal for me to put on here] i figured itd be better to get out then bottled up with my emotions in my room channeling sylvia plath and writing out the blackness in my journal. ill email you when im home. love you to the moon and back. "

Her:"I'm gonna go listen to this Ed hardy and tribal tattoo people talk about things I don't care about. Love you a million times more than these stupid people. And then some."

I miss her. I miss us. I wish you werent all the way across the country. Make it to NYC sooner than sept so we can reunite sooner than later.
ps-I dont like being found either.

Zebra and Snake - Big Bad Drummer Boy

Seriously obsessing over this song right now. Can't find the mp3 at the moment.....but this video will do. He's strung out and very heroin-esque looking, which is what I am very much attracted to. And I like his harem pants. Ending 20/30 seconds beat...yum.

Zebra and Snake - Big Bad Drummer from Stereotype Helsinki on Vimeo.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Please look and understand how incredibly creative and intelligent this group of brilliant people are. This is their new collective idea, Arthrow. An online project that will create a collaboration of any and all artists. YOU can help get this started. Check it out below.
Cherry, Scott, Jordan, J, Mara, Benry; I love and I miss you all. I'm incredibly proud to have had you all be a part of my life. Congrats, and good luck with Arthrow.