its one of my favorite line from any song. "passion's overrated anyways." (Massive Attack-dissolved girl) well its true. not only have i given up at the ripe age of 20 in terms of hoping for that prince charming that we were all deceptively led to believe is out there, but im almost at a loss for human kind. i know that sounds pessimistic, maybe even a little sarte-esque, but its just something ive really been thinking about and am finally able to articulate. listening to dissolved girl just speaks everything i always try to say. things fade. yes, tonite is christmas eve, and that jolly, warm, warm hearted feeling i normally receive on this glorious night...gone. why? because things fade. not everything is going to stay upbeat and happy. and you know what else fades? my trust and reliabilty in people. and i wish to anything that that was not the case. but it is, unfortunatly. "shame, such a shame, i think i kinda lost myself again", yes, i did. and it is quite a damn shame. i do lost myself when i finally become comfortable and think i can rely on people. you are the only person that you can rely on. youre only in control of yourself. sure, i "need a little love to ease the pain", but please. that whole idea that someone else is going to make you happy? let it go. youre the only person who can do it for yourself. passion is overrated. and when you become passionate about someone, you lose yourself.
no, nothing happened to make me seem cynical, or caused me to tell it like it is, i just finally am able to put it in place in my head. i had no "bad encounter", or falling out, or break up or anything, its just how life is. i have to stop letting peoples poor attitudes and deceptive demeanor bring me down. stop letting my mindset be determined by your negativity.
merry christmas everyone. :)
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"when you become passionate about someone you lose yourself". ...on the same note -when you care so deeply about a person you second guess your every move, you become someone else. you're constantly struggling to prove yourself to them, trying to keep them with you. most of the time without even noticing a change in yourself. and how do we know how much we actually like that person? what do we have to compare it to? just a biased scale of how much we liked someone else some other time.
ReplyDeleteand ive decided being cynical is a result of being overly-pensive. which is what we are. the mall in america the day after christmas is depressing. love you