Monday, April 19, 2010

this house is not a home

well. im home. i knew it was going to be tough living here, but i didnt realize how much this place just isnt my home anymore. i walk into my house from being picked up from the airport, and my kitchen is completely redone, the dog is like nine feet longer and has this attitude, i cant find any of the spoons or cups, the food is beyond organic, and my brother is almost my height. my mother continues to make rude comments on my wardrobe, and asks who i could possibly be texting at 1 am. i dont belong here anymore, clearly. i hate that i had to move back here. i hate this town, i hate this state. i hate that everything i do gets a comment, everything i wear gets a comment, by a family member, or an old highschool friend i see in town. i need to get out of this place. i feel like alice when she takes the "eat me" and grows a mile tall and cant fit inside the house. ive said before that coming home steals a part of your soul, well, i think it ate the entire thing.


  1. Hang in there! Just be true to your self and remember there are people who love you so much. You'll get through this!

    I do like the alice reference :)

  2. I think part of being a good person is learning to deal properly with situations you hate, and not simply dismissing things because they don't accord with things how you want them.

    My 2 cents.

  3. HI allie! i've been reading your recent posts (i seriously LOVE your blog), and my gosh - i'm so sorry about your whole school situation and everything! i'd be stressed too-- but i really want to tell you that i honestly have NO doubt that you have such a bright future ahead of you. i can tell. you have a realllly good head on your shoulders. you're intelligent and educated (you write SO well.) and best of all, you're genuine. i have a lot of respect for you! good luck with EVERYTHING--i hope i can see you soon! come down to lbi this summer.

  4. Were in an in-between point where we're too old to live at home, but still holding on to being young and subconsciously not wanting to leave and grow up. It gets really old living here, but same at school most of the time. There's just no win right now maybe...gotta wait it out.