What makes me happy? Other than good music, the beach, the sun, the waves, and my friends, one person has been able to bring out a person in me I thought never existed. I know someone who has an incredible power to make people feel full of worth. He taught me how to love myself, how to love others, and how to be free.
I promise you, that somewhere underneath all of my tainted problems, behind the screwed up reactions, beneath the unforgiving exterior, there is a heart that is full of love. It's willing to love, it wants to be loved, it can love, it will love.
I was shown a glimpse of the most positive life I have ever been exposed to. I had never been so happy in my entire life, I was finally free from harm. And like I always use to say, from all good comes bad, and that is that. But recently I've noticed good does come after bad, but once the good overtakes you, the struggle starts to keep it.
I didn't want to get religious, but I'm a firm believer of evil, and the devil is strong, and the devil knows me too well. So just when I'm in a vulnerable state, the negative force pulls at me from below, and will do anything in it's power to get me to stop being happy. The fight is to say no, and since I give in so easily to darker things, I lean his way, and he wins.
I can't let him almost win again. I must remember that good sprouts from the evil, God is on MY side, God wants ME to win, to fight, to love, and to be with Him when the time comes. I somehow always lose the people I love the most, because I can never win this fight, but I'm not letting it happen anymore. I am meant to be happy. I am meant to be loved. And I'm going to do it.