i think that its time for us to leave this place...

after being depressed at school today and thinking how the hell i ended up here, i got to thinking about the different directions my life could have gone. if i did somewhat decently in high school, maybe i could have gone to a baller college and become a doctor or lawyer or something that makes over 50k a year. or i could have gone the dancer route. maybe if i wasnt forced to quit at 16 when i was still young and limber, i couldve been famous already. gone to school for dance, or maybe dance for work or something. mmm...i miss dance....or i couldve gone the dropout route. i hated school so much at first that i totally couldve dropped out and lived at home and been a bum. but i didnt. im at southern catholic college in dawsonville, georgia. the largest meth city in the south. and i have NO idea where i am going with my life.
im taking it one day at a time. i used to be completely pessimistic and negative about my life, (i totally still am, but highly working on it) and where it was going. but after talking to a dear friend of mine, i realized...i have my ENTIRE future ahead of me. im so glad im not still caught up in my life in connecticut, still dating that person from highschool, and feeling tied down to this one sided life. i am young, confused, and ready to face anything. and im actually really excited about it. im so eager to know where my life will take me. sure i feel super pressured by my parents and family about becoming something significant (that topic is just too loaded for now..) but i want to explore. who knows how much longer of life i will have. and who cares about living up to some expectation for your family, friends, or america. i want to do my own thing, and i think its time i start planning. i honestly have never been so positive in my life about anything. and i am positive that i will have a very eventful, exciting future. and im not giving myself full credit for my change in attitude. a couple people really helped me see this side of myself. and i hope those people are included in my script of life. and if they arent, then i am excited for the journey alone....


"king of the hopeless will fall"