Sunday, January 10, 2010

imagination fascination

last nite i saw the movie 'the imaginarium of dr. parnassus'. i went into this movie knowing only that it was heath ledgers last film, and that it was done by the same guy who wrote the screenplay for 'fear and loathing in las vegas'. oh, and that model who is always in NYLON, lily cole was in it. i figured it would be a fun, possibly trippy movie to see, so i went with my girlfriends thinking it would be a weird, light movie. false. this movie was the most brilliant, disturbing, dark, beautiful, ingenious movies i have ever seen in my entire life. when the movie ended, i sat there in my seat, like...frozen, with tears in my eyes. i could hear everyone around me saying "what the hell did we just watch", or, "oh my God that was the weirdest movie i have ever seen." i dont want to spoil it any if you havent seen it, but the depth of this movie is so intense, IF you let yourself go there with it. if the whole idea of making a deal with the devil isnt terrifying enough, to think about how much power your imagination holds, is one of the scariest, most amazing things to think about. the amount of decisions you make in a lifetime is infinite. you can make a decision about that littlest thing that will alter the course of your life forever...

i took A LOT out of this movie, not only being scared out of my mind thinking of how there is always a battle for our soul between the good and the evil...but what i really started to think about were my dreams.

ever since i was a little baby, i've had the most elaborate, intense dreams and nightmares. every night. and most times i tell people about the dreams ive had, i either get the "you're totally making that up", or..."what the hell did you take before you went to bed." and the answer is nothing. i just have these vivid dreams about anything and everything, and sometimes when i wake up its the most calming feeling in the world, or i scare the shit out of myself. i will never understand why i have the dreams i have, and i would never wish them away. but i got to thinking. every single person in the world is different. all with different personalities and different minds. so when people dream, no two people have the same dream. ever. they are all based on our imagination and our experiences, and i do believe that some dreams are prophetic, or intuitive in some way. but since dreams are so personal i dont know if i want to share them with anyone anymore. dreams are so fascinating to me. i think mostly because its not like we can control what we dream about. sure, we can have interferences, like alarm clocks or loud sounds or music or people talking, but some people have dreams of things and people and places they have never even seen before. i have had at least three times where i have gone to a place that ive NEVER been to before, but i recognize it, and its because its been in a dream before. that i just...dont understand. but i almost dont even want to because i love the randomness of your mind. peoples minds and imaginations hold such an insane amount of power. and people really dont recognize that. we live in an age where everything is out in the open. facebook, BLOGS, cellphones, email...everyone knows everything about everybody. its almost like all you have left are your dreams. save your dreams. keep them sheltered from this destructive world. there is so much we can learn about ourselves from the dreams our minds bestow at night. allow yourself to be taught by your mind. your mind and dreams will tell you things that nobody else will. only i can understand myself, and sometimes i cant even understand myself, but when i tell my dreams to someone, i cant expect them to fully grasp it how i do. i really am starting to wish that people would step away from the loud static that recent technology is putting in our heads, and use their imagination more. read more. draw more. write more. think more.

dream more.

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