I'm currently writing a paper on TS Eliot's 'The Waste Land' right now, well, CLEARLY taking a break, but I totally just had a revelation on how shitty our intelligence is becoming. I decided to find a recording of Eliot reading the poem, because I find that you can gain so much more from the poem if you hear how it is supposed to be read. Well, I listened...and listened again, and then went through my favorite parts and, well, I listened again. After I finally let it end, I went and turned my itunes back on, and...well I'll refrain from saying what song came on, but I immediately became embarrassed. This moment it really hit me; these lyrics are dumb as shit.
We listen to it because the beats are rad, raw, dirty, make us want to do illicit things...and I'm the FIRST person to admit that even if the lyrics suck, the beat is what gets me. However, it's making us idiots. After reading poems and books from these guys, honestly, there is SO much more out there than what we expose ourselves to. There is SO much we can learn, and to think it's just from a bunch of single words put together...and the fact that JUST that can teach you so much, it's unreal. It's not only music either, it's culture. I was having a talk with one of my best friends the other day about how unbelievably hard it is for us to find guys attractive nowadays because they are just...so damn unintelligent. They don't read, they don't listen to decent music, they aren't religious... And no, that's not fair to say, I don't mind if they aren't religious, but if they know NOTHING about anything spiritual...like, those things are what's important in life. Not drinking, smoking, partying...that is just so empty. And trust me, I went through that phase just a bit ago, and I found nothing fulfilling in it. Not one thing. The things I find pleasure in talking about, some guys/people don't even know what the hell I'm saying. I had a run in with someone my friends set me up with, and I can't even begin how painful it was. He had a beautiful tattoo of a Latin quote that is found in some of my FAVORITE poetry and literature...and he couldn't reference one. NOT ONE. Frustrating to say the least.
I feel like I've become a snob, but I really don't mean to be. I think I just...oh I don't know, as a good friend put once 'I never thought my head and body matched up well.' It's true. They haven't. And I honestly believe I will be spending my life alone. I specifically blame my Literature professor from last year for this. He gave me an excerpt from an Allan Bloom book on the corruption of the human mind, and knowing that I happily obsess over music, he had me read the section in which Bloom negated any happy feeling I got from just listening to my tunes. Thanks a lot, Professor. I've now become a complete snob and I really don't think any guy enjoys hanging out with me. It sucks that I am attracted to philosophy, poetry and music. IT SUCKS, IT SUCKS, IT SUCKS. I think I may just stop reading and start doing what normal people do...and join a sorority and dye each others hair and like...play beer pong. Three guys came up to me at the bar the other night, and one of them asked me what I wanted to do after school, so I told him, because I have goals in my life. His response: "whoa weird, so you're like ambitious or whatever..." and then tuned out. UH, YEAH I have ambitions I'M A HUMAN. Nope. Next guy: "So what do you do in your spare time when youre not studying?" Me: Well I have a music blog and I love to write and read and find new music, what do you do?" Him: "oh, I workout." Fail. Next one...became so utterly confused on the fact I knew more about his tattoo than he did, that he honestly told someone I was too smart (which is obviously an INSULT nowadays) and left me and started hanging on these two blondes with fake boobs.
Like, IM NOT EVEN SMART. AT ALL. I just pay attention to details and live life in awareness.
Hello one bedroom apartment in NYC with 27 cats.