Saturday, October 16, 2010

Selflessness > Selfishness

Top of the evening to everyone. Last night and this morning I was delivered some news that...if I had any parcel of a heart left, I'd be upset, but since I don't, I don't care. So technically I'm really upset, but then I think about it, and how much BETTER my life is down here, that I can't let myself get upset. Which brings me to another point...
I'm really selfish.
Yeah, extremely shitty things have happened to me in the last couple years, and I don't react in the most...healthy ways possible...but I have it so good. I have GREAT health, minus the anxiety disorder which runs my life, my family is all alive and well, I have AMAZINGGG friends, I have amazing style and music taste....(kidding, but like...I'm not kidding at all)...and I have an education. I take my life so for granted, and it's sad that I'm just now realizing this. I think it's because being here I've met the coolest people ever, and then I get to know them, and they've had it so much worse than I have. And I'm almost embarrassed that I let myself get so upset about things. My life is pretty damn good.
Just because I found out that the boy I would've jumped off a bridge for had been dating another girl at the same time, is a junkie, and basically just a complete waste of life, doesn't really give me a reason to be upset. Like, whatever. I'm a pretty awesome person, hell of a lot better than that piece of shit, and I know I'm going places.
I have to remember how blessed I really am.

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